Birthday Presence

from by KAYLA ARCATA

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lyrics

it's my 21st birthday today and i feel like
something inside me is holding it's breath
and my friend leila says that i remind her of a salmon
swimming up against the current without any rest
so i'll dye my hair pink and i'll try not to think about
the ways in which this world taunts me till i sink
into paralysis as my life crumbles straight into the sea

but you know sometimes hitting rock bottom sets you free

i wear oversized sweaters and wonder if i'm drowning
in fabric, in feelings my heart is expounding
living in this city takes its toll after a while
like how i got asked for blowjobs seven times in one half mile
there's no shame in sex work, i'm just trying to exist
without these strangers pulling up and always treating me like shit
and then there's mass evictions, service cuts while corporate interests thrive

and there's no way that we'll all make it out alive

sometimes i get so badly caught up inside my head
that i will lock my door, unplug my phone and lay around in bed
until the weight of my impending doom will start to make me sick
which is why i'm always throwing up or tearing at my skin
it helps to put on music, sing along or dance or scream
or talk with neighbors on their porches about what the future brings
because anxiety's just anger you've turned back upon yourself

you'll feel much better when you start to let it out

it's my 21st birthday today and i feel like
something inside me is holding its breath
and my friend leila says that i remind her of a salmon
swimming up against the current without any rest
so i'll dye my hair pink and i'll try to only think about
the way my friends look at me and the beauty that they bring
with their strong passions, gentle voices, and unwavering bravery

and how they lift me up to where i'm meant to be

credits

from QUIET GRRRL, released July 21, 2014

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KAYLA ARCATA Detroit, Michigan

Detroit based DIY folk (punk) solo project.

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